Tired

Tired? Let me tell you about tired. The past fourteen years, tired is the defining trait of my life. I wake up tired, I go through the day tired, I go to bed tired. It doesn't matter how long I sleep, I don't wake up refreshed and rested. It's one of the hallmark traits of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). This is not a "sleepy" tired - this is every muscle in your body feeling like it's just done an IronMan. It's feeling like you weigh 500 pounds, so that even getting dressed is a strenuous workout. It's being so fatigued, that you can't take a shower every day - even using a shower chair - because you just don't have the energy. 

Tired? I don't remember what it feels like to NOT be tired.

[This post is part of the Five Minute Friday link-up.]

Stories

Everyone has a story, but in the hustle and bustle of life, we tend to forget that. The woman who just cut you off in traffic? She's a single mom, working two jobs, and she's afraid her oldest boy is experimenting with drugs. She's at the end of her rope, desperate for help, but feels all alone. That checker in the grocery store who didn't greet you with a smile? He's desperately trying to save enough money to go to college, but the boss keeps cutting back his hours. He feels trapped. That little old lady walking sooo slowly across the intersection, making you wait an extra 5 seconds before driving on? Her husband recently died, and she's afraid she can't live by herself any longer, but she still devotes her free time to knitting gloves and hats for the homeless.

If we could see each person's story, then maybe we would realize that we are all connected, and we all share one core story: we are each just trying to do our best in a sometimes cruel and harsh world. So, the next time someone tries your patience, take a step back, look at them as a real person, and realize that they are just like you. Then smile and wish them well. You'll feel better for it, and so will they. And that's no small achievement in this world!

This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday link-up.

Depend

When you are chronically ill, you learn a lot about dependence. Because you can no longer depend on your own body or strength. Before I became ill, I was quite self-sufficient. I was physically strong, and could easily handle tasks that others might have found difficult, such as stacking wood or moving furniture. Now that I am ill, simply getting dressed is tiring!

So, since I can no longer depend on myself, whom do I depend on? Well, pretty much everyone else! First of all, I depend on my husband. He does all the household chores, inside and out. He buys groceries. He picks up my - numerous - prescriptions. He walks the dog. He brings in firewood for me. He pretty much does it all - and, bless him, he never complains! (Yes, I'm married to the perfect man - sorry, ladies!)

I also depend on my friends. Since driving is physically taxing, I depend on friends to take me to all of my medical appointments: physical therapy, massage, mental health counseling, etc. It makes a huge difference when I can get a ride, as it saves me so much energy! I also depend on my friends to pray for me. Their support and encouragement is something I cherish. I really do have great friends!

Of course, mostly, I depend on God. It is God's strength that keeps me going, day after day after day. Being chronically ill is hard, both physically and mentally. But I have learned that God is with me, even on the bad days - especially on the bad days! God carries me through. God holds me. God catches my tears when I cry. God gives me the strength to carry on.

My chronic illness has taught me many things, but one of the most important things is that I know whom I can depend on!


This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday link-up!

Speak Up, Speak Out, Speak Life

Proverbs 18:21 - the tongue has the power of life and death

Proverbs 31:9 - speak  up and judge fairly, defend the rights of the oppressed

Isaiah 1:17 - learn to do good, seek justice, help the oppressed, defend the cause of orphans fight for the rights of widows

I have been contemplating the importance of speech, lately. Given the political and social climate in the U.S. since even before the election, where hate speech has become rampant, and our own president insults and degrades others, I’ve thought a lot about the power of speech, both good and bad, and what my own speech might look like as a result. 

We all know that words can hurt. And we all know that when the speech of our leaders is degrading, insulting, and even hateful, then those people who have long harbored hateful feeling feel emboldened to speak up, themselves. It is no wonder that every day we see some video posted on social media of some white person shouting to a racial or religious minority to “go back to where you came from!” It’s no wonder that we literally have Nazis marching in our streets, spewing hatred and bile.

So, to fight this, I’ve been speaking up and speaking out. I call out racist or bigoted posts or comments on Facebook. I speak the truth about God’s love for every single person on the planet. (See Proverbs 31:9 and Isiah 1:17) Even further, I am endeavoring to spread love and peace through my daily interactions with strangers - I compliment the checker at the grocery store on her earrings; I tell someone I like their hat or their tattoo. I just try to be nice to people, as a counterbalance to all the anger and hate that is in social discourse right now. It may not seem like much, but if I do believe that the tongue truly has the power of life or death, as it says in Proverbs 18:21.

So speak. Speak up. Speak out. Speak life.

(This post is part of Five Minute Friday.)